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Compassion, Emotions, Love, Sacred justice, Uncategorized

Live the story of Thanksgiving

This Thanksgivng, I’ll pass on the turkey and cranberry and instead scoop up a big serving of lovingkindness. I’m going to take that in and heap extra care and lovingkindness upon you, too! I think we all are in need.

I am feeling grief over the contradiction of our Thanksgiving myths and stories and the reality on the ground as military force protects private interests and harms peaceful water protectors at Standing Rock. You can support the NoDAPL coalition and defend indigenous rights by contacting the people linked here or sending supplies.

Supply note: With at least two hundred injured last night, Standing Rock medics are in critical need of the following items:

Milk of Magnesia
Wool socks
Wool blankets
Space blankets
Hand warmers
Trauma kits (portable)
Suturing kits
Straw bales

Supplies can be shipped to:
Standing Rock Medic and Healer Council
PO Box 1251, Bismark ND, 58502
or if you are shipping via UPS or Fed Ex, please use the address:
220 E. Rosser Ave. 1251, Bismark, ND, 58502

Or you can donate to the Standing Rock medics.

If Thanksgiving is about fellowship, then let us embody that in our communities, by connecting with love, protecting the vulnerable, resisting the fascist and racist take over of our country with fierce compassion.

 

Celebration, Compassion, Dreams, Emotions, Gratitude, Healing, Life Coaching, Love, Love is Space, Meditation, Open, Radical Acceptance, Relationship, Transformation, Uncategorized

breaking up *is* hard to do

heartcracking heartcrackingheartcracking

 

 

 

We made it just a month shy of June 6th, what would have been our two year anniversary.

A few months before, I thought we would make it to June…and beyond. I prayed we would. At moments, I could picture a long life together. I wanted to believe it possible.

So much goodness danced between us, that made day to day life happier in many ways. Having a quirky and caring companion to share the mundane with…to laugh and cuddle with. That so much love and goodness was there, made letting go of what was ultimately not the right fit for each of us, that much more painful.

In my hopeful days, I saw a future together, but it was one that depended on my mate showing up differently than he wanted or knew how. I grew tired of striving and forcing, of initiating the long talks that never came to resolution, and I guess he, too, became tired of knowing I wanted more, of not just being able to be himself, to relax and experience ease in relationship.

We stopped and restarted in the winter, tried (briefly) couples counseling. I read relationship books and binged on podcasts about attachment styles and conscious loving. I questioned what were true needs from a primary relationship and what can be fulfilled from friendships and other connections. I wondered, frustrated at myself, how someone could be such a kind and wonderful person but still not be the right partner for me.

I came to a deep knowing that the romance was over, accompanied by fear of losing this wonderful friendship, and frozen with sadness as the dream of our future changed and our journey as partners came to a close. Too frozen to act. I hung and clung on a bit longer, though our connection became more strained and I depended on our therapist to help mediate misunderstanding.

My love for him, and for us, prevailed through all the difficulty, and for me, it was important to put that love in front of everything else, and to have that shape how we forged ahead in moving forward as friends.

I was so grateful he had the courage to end our relationship and so grateful, as well, he was open to being in ritual with me to honor our past, acknowledge the present, and bless the future (and for allowing me to share this here). Inspired partly, by one of the million podcasts I listened to, an interview with author Katherine Woodward Thomas on Neil Sattin’s Relationship Alive (episode 21, for those curious to hear), when she shared her own experience of moving through loss gracefully, in partnership with her now ex-husband. Because they didn’t go into detail about what a closing ceremony might entail, I meditated on how to ritualize our parting. Here’s what I came up with:

Step One: Use sage to cleanse his home  sage

Step Two: Use sage to cleanse one another

Step Three: Sit in silent meditation together 5-10 minutes (we did 7)

Step Four: Express gratitude for the relationship, speak to the gifts and lessons (Also in meditation, I typed up some prayer-like reflections on the purpose of relationship and the how we might find strength in letting go)

Step Five: Say some words to release the relationship and wish for each other’s highest good

Step Six: Light a candle and select 2 scrolls each from a vessel, each with 1 word blessing to mark a new beginning

Step Seven: Back alone in my home, sage to cleanse my living space

The ritual was very healing and love-filled for us both. If you can move back into love enough to remember what brought and bonded the 2 (or more) of you, this is a very beautiful way to say goodbye to the shared romantic vision, and transition into something new.

xoxo

“I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty.     I hear your need. I feel your feelings.” -Gandhi

Celebration, Discernment, Dreams, grounding, Journal, Life Coaching, Life Path, Love, Open, Personal Growth, Power Within, Relationship, Soul, Spirituality, Support, Uncategorized, Wisdom

Spiritual Dream Team

This week I invited the women who participate in my Whole Healthy Living online support group to harness the power and energy of the most amazing women they know, as a collective of psychic support for body, mind, soul.

We’ve been focusing on journaling for the past few weeks and I wanted to share an exercise I’ve found helpful that my therapist shared with me. This is imagining and connecting to a few people who have your back and bringing them into your life, energetically, when you need! To turn this into a deeper journal practice, I added some more content. Check it out!

Who are the women you would pick to be on your spiritual dream team?

mystical-woman-huebner-7

A brain trust is a group of advisers and experts. Say you could have a brain, heart, and soul trust for life…who would you choose to be there for you? Who do you want with you as you move through life’s celebrations and challenges…and why are they there?

They may be women whose wisdom or insight supports you or challenges you, women who inspire you for their enthusiasm or energy, women who live boldly, embodied…who have been loyal friends. Whatever the reason, make a list of 12-20 women who you choose to be on your dream team. They may be real or fictional, living or passed on. These are the women you want with you, by your side, energetically. Women you can call upon in need for their clarity, strength, softness, kindness, etc. You decide.

Now next to their names, list the 3-5 traits they have that made you put the on your team.

So your page should have 2 columns

Name                                                                  |                      Why I want them on my team

1.
2.
3. and so on…

When you’ve finished writing down the qualities of your dream team members, see if you notice the themes that make up your community. What does it take for someone to be worthy of your appreciation, respect, or admiration?

You can take it further by reflecting on some examples when you showed up with these same traits and realize how, for those same reasons, you might be on someone else’s dream team. Write some thoughts about how you’ve had some of those qualities you most admire. Celebrate you and your community.